It's like you're making soup...

It wouldn't be a proper trip if everything went according to plan. Problems, language barriers, cultural differences - those are the moments when you really learn about yourself. How do you handle it when your bus breaks down in the middle of steamy Cambodia? Are you willing to ask for help reading a map? Are you going to get angry when you realize your server doesn't understand what you're asking for? These are the moments you really take home, this is what stays with you forever. Yes, we have our photographs and fun pants and sarongs and magnets and postcards and far too many earrings, but that doesn't change you on the inside. 

What changes you is knowing there are people living in the countryside making less than $60 a month and supporting families with it. What changes you is listening to little children shout "hello" and "bye bye" as you walk past their simple homes. What changes you is seeing three generations of family live together, barefoot and happy. The overwhelming beauty of Angkor Wat, intricate carvings on stone walls, people eating bugs because that's all they have - that's what changes you, that's what you really take home. 

We are spoiled with air conditioning and perfectly cleaned fruit and spotless restrooms and maintained streets. Stray away from this occasionally. Try a stinky, weird looking fruit. Marvel at something that was made in the 12th century. Walk in the dusty streets, ask your tuk tuk driver to take you to a local restaurant, take in the beauty of a Buddhist temple, learn key phrases in multiple languages.

The gold covering the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh, the music coming from the Buddhist temple Wat Phnom, monkies running around, photos and videos and words just don't do it justice. You need to smell the incense, see the people worshipping, hear the chanting, be there, be in that moment.

Angkor Wat, what a sight. It's amazing what man was able to do without the use of modern construction equipment. Not just Angkor Wat, but the surrounding temples as well. We visited Bayon and the Ta Prohm temple complex and both were breath-taking. Ta Prohm is most well known for Tomb Raider being filmed there, which I've never seen but just walking through there felt as if I was in a movie, or I'd taken a step back in time. 

One night we had dinner at a local families house outside of town. We walked around the village, played with the children and sat on the floor while eating dinner.  The grandmother of the house cooked for us and her daughter showed us how they live. She teaches the neighborhood kids English for free during the week because they can't afford to go to school. They're 5 and 6 years old, already learning a second language.

I rode a quad for the first time in my life (I think) in the fields outside of Siem Reap and it was so much fun! We stopped by a temple and danced with the children who lived there. Some were orphans and others' parents could not currently afford to support them. We did headstands and break danced and jumped around, happy to be happy. We watched the sunset in the rice paddies and tried multiple times to take a group jumping photo, which we almost got here...

I realize I can't speak for everyone, but I know when I return from a trip, something inside of me is different. My view of the world has been widened. I have met new people, explored new places, been in a different culture. It doesn't always have to be life-changing. It might be that I come home and appreciate being able to drink the tap water. I'm reminded how lucky I am to have a home to sleep in. The next time I meet a lost foreigner, I'll spend a little extra time helping them out. The next time I look into the distance and see mountains, I will remember what it's like to see nothing but flat rice paddies for miles.

Why do I travel? It's a gentle reminder that the universe does not revolve around me, as much as I'd sometimes like to think it does. It's how I learn what I am truly capable of, who I really am. It's like you're making soup, and you just keep adding different things to it to make it taste better. But what happens when you take away the comforting taste of speaking the native language, the herbs and spices of people you know, the vegetables that you know and like the taste of? Boil away the make up and the nice clothes and all of society's expectations and are you able to work with what's left? That's your core, and that's what's revealed to you when you leave your comfort zone. 

It's going to be a bumpy ride

Just as I was getting used to the traffic of Southeast Asia, we get on a bus to take us from Phnom Penh to Siem Riep and are spending the first half of our morning on a bumpy, dusty road filled with holes and rocks and no lanes. The country side is filled with rice fields, houses on stilts and fruit stands. Children on their way home from school stare as we raise dust, moving forward. 

We made our way out of Hoi An and took a plane down to Ho Chi Minh City, still known as Saigon to many even though th name changed in the 70's. A commercialized city, it was almost as if we weren't even in Vietnam anymore. There were plenty of western restaurants, Korean grocery stores and tall buildings glowing with bright lights.

A little outside of Ho Chi Minh City are the Cu Chi tunnels that were used during the Vietnam war. They lived essentially underground to protect themselves from gunfire and bombings. The tunnels are now open to the public and we crawled around their homes, which have already been widened twice so that tourists can fit in them without getting stuck. So go ahead, have another doughnut. 

The entrance was larger than the actual tunnel, trust me. 

After we crawled around in the dirt, fired a gun and drank hot tea in the hot heat, we watched a short film about the history of the tunnels. Our guide had actually been a soldier and let us know ahead of time that the film is not quite accurate. It had been filmed after the war and showed soldiers crouching through underground tunnels. This would've been impossible at the time, because the tunnels were so small soldiers had to crawl through them. Only one side was shown during the fighting scenes and the fighting trench shown in the film was not actually used for fighting. It was a bit of a propoganda film, not the first I've seen in Vietnam. To an outsider, it seems so one-sided and untrue, but if it's what you hear all your life, how are you supposed to think otherwise? It made me wonder about our own media coverage back home, and how much is actually hidden and twisted around and repeated until we believe it. How quick are we to judge other countries information and not question our own?

Luck was on our side as we headed to the Hard Rock for some drinks afterwards. My friend Jacqueline was standing on the street corner, trying to figure out where we were when a moped zoomed by her, ripping her purse off the strap and taking it with them. She reached for it, the flap opened and all of her important things fell out as the man zoomed off with a purse containing only sunscreen.  Her eyeglasses and wallet were on the ground and we were so surprised we couldn't even figure out what had happened. They're not kidding when they tell you to hold on to your purses and watch your bags. 

The next day we went to the Mekong Delta, where the Mekong River empties into the sea. Many of the villages and areas are accessed by rivers rather than roads. We took a boat tour around and got to hold a python, try fresh honey, drink coconut wine (not as good as it sounds) and fresh coconut water (tastes even better than it sounds). We saw how chewy coconut candy is made (probably the reason I don't fit in the tunnels) and how coconut milk is made. We ate fresh dragon fruit, cocoa plant, jackfruit and watched musicians perform on local instruments.

A huge jackfruit compared to Dat's head. 

We ate, we drank, we laughed and then it was onto Cambodia. We took another bus from Ho Chi Minh City to Phnom Penh and I fell in love with the country immediately. It has a sad history, but beautiful architecture. We took cyclos around the city when we first got there and were welcomed by rain shortly after leaving the hotel. 

In the morning we visited S-21, a prison from the Khmer Rouge days. Between 1975 and 1979, Cambodia was under the rule of the Khmer Rouge, who forced people to leave their homes, took all their belongings and put them to work in the fields and country sides. The people were treated terribly. They did not have healthcare for when they got sick, they were not fed properly, families were torn apart and thousands of innocent people were killed in executions centers around the country. S-21, a former school, was turned into one of these prisons. Innocent victims were tortured until they made false confessions, resulting in thousands of deaths. 

 Razor wire kept prisoners from escaping or committing suicide. 

This was only 40 years ago. I highly recommend reading the book "Surviving the Killing Fields," a truly moving, heart breaking story of a man who managed to escape into Thailand, but lost everything along the way. He was sent to prison three different times, and the torture he endured is unbelievable. There were two survivors at the prison, the only two still alive. They receive no help from the government and are there to sell their books and share their stories, every single day. 

 One of the "prison cells" of the survivors. 

The Killing Fields were where thousands of people were killed and buried in mass graves. Men, women and children alike were tortured, beaten and killed for no reason. It is now a memorial, with some of their bones preserved in a memorial tower, while others lay undisturbed in their graves. Not only did they suffer greatly, but they did not receive a proper burial. This means their souls were left to wander, lost and without a home. 

It was a heavy day, difficult to grasp how someone can be so full of hate. It was so recent, and yet so few people know about the suffering this small country endured in the 70's. And yet Cambodia is still moving forward, trying to keep up with everyone around it, rebuilding itself and picking up the pieces. 

This is real life.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Vietnam. I knew I would be eating pho multiple times a day (which I have been doing) and that was the extent of my planning. As our time in Hanoi came to an end, I couldn't wait to move on because wherever we went had to be better than that city.

We hopped on a private bus that took us to Halong Bay and I couldn't have been happier. Pulling up to the dock you see small mountains rising out of the water in the distance and they only get more beautiful as you get closer. We spent the night on a boat, anchored in the water, surrounded by some of Mother Natures most beautiful artwork. During the day we were swimming and exploring the largest cave in the Bay. We ate fresh seafood - fish, prawns, squid and crab and marveled at our surroundings. We kayaked and watched floating markets pass by on boats, selling beer and crackers, cigarettes and batteries. What a beautiful change of pace from the busy, loud streets of Hanoi.

How much more beautiful this place would have been if you couldn't see trash floating out in the distance, discarded water bottles and plastic bags. Physical reminders of how many people have been here before us and disrespected the land. Our aina is precious and I hope the people visiting and living here realize that soon, before she disrespects us as we have her. 

An overnight train took us 13 hours south, to the city of Hue. It was my first taste of colourful shopping,  bright lanterns and the beautiful country that is Vietnam. We took a motorbike tour through the city, hopping on the back of a moped/motorcycle hybrid and exploring the countryside. We passed through rice fields and small towns, learned how rice was harvested, visited the tomb of one of Vietnams former emperors and got to see the tallest pagoda in the city, standing at 7 stories tall. We complained about the the heat and welcomed the rain with open arms. We learned about the importance of Feng Shui, ate fresh fruit, drank too much Vietnamese coffee and couldn't wait to see what else the city had to show us. 

We visited the citadel, from which all of Vietnam was ruled from 1804 to 1945. Thirteen kings lived there in total, one of whom was only 7 years old when he began ruling the country. Moats surrounded the Imperial City and the Forbidden City. Once meant to keep out intruders, they are now home to giant lotus flowers and lily pads.

Incense sticks burn in homes, hotels and shops here. We got to see how they are made by hand. I learned that the devil can only go in a straight line and therefore barriers were built in front of the entrances to tombs to keep him out, food and offerings are left for the spirits so they do not enter your home and take from your kitchen and reincarnation is not just for animals and people, but for plants as well. What a beautiful culture. 

Next we came to Hoi An, where I find myself now, sitting on our balcony and trying to figure out how I can spend the rest of my life traveling, learning, meeting new people, exploring new places, understanding how other cultures work.

Perhaps the most eye opening experience of the trip so far was yesterday, when we hopped on rented bikes and got to explore a large island off the coast of Hoi An, where people live simply, work extremely hard and are not used to seeing tourists. For four hours, we bicycled past rice fields, lakes, buffalo, chickens. We were welcomed into people's homes, where we saw how rice noodles are made by hand. The family wakes up at 3 am and works until noon, making fresh noodles and crispy rice cakes. We got to see how rice wine is made in another family's home. They had multiple pigs, a small daughter who was so excited to see us, and a heartbreaking past tracing back to the war. We learned how straw mats are made, from the cutting and drying of the grass to the actual production. Two ladies make 3 to 4 large mats a day, completely by hand in their humble home, with no air conditioning, and they do not complain. This was not a museum, this was not for show, this was real life. And today, as I enjoy technology, my breakfast buffet and my shopping options, they are still making noodles, rice wine and mats.

How lucky are we, to be blessed with jobs that offer steady pay, to live in a home with a bed, electricity and a telephone? How often do we take for granted the fact that someone else does our dirty work and we reap the benefits? Imagine your 9-year old son working in a restaurant, bussing tables. Your 8-year old sister selling lanterns on the street. Your 70-year old grandmother, harvesting rice in the fields. And we think our lives are tough.

"Son, look at those white people"

Sometimes you just have to accept that you are a tourist. Even without the map, we stand out in Hanoi. It's a city jam packed with street vendors, traffic and Asians. Lots of Asians who know how to dodge cars and mopeds in the streets and don't mind eating pho outside in 90+ degree weather and 100% humidity.

I'm spending the rest of June traveling through Southeast Asia with my friend Jacqueline. We met studying abroad three years ago and haven't seen each other since. We met at the airport in Tokyo and flew to Hanoi together, where we were greeted by a torrential downpour and really pushy taxi drivers. 

We got to our hotel late at night, ate dinner at the hotel restaurant for $6, debated drinking the table water, showered after our 24+ hours of traveling and decided we would spend Sunday exploring the city. 

Heading out this morning, it was like we had walked into a steam room. I thought I could handle the heat. I grew up in Vegas, live in Hawaii and spent time jogging around Death Valley in July while my mom ran a race for two days. This is a whole new level of hot, people. While I am thankful there was no rain today, I could literally feel beads of sweat dripping down my body. I was wearing grey pants and could smell my bug spray coming off and my hair sticking to the back of my neck. This was not my main concern, however. My main concern today was learning how to cross the street.

Crosswalks and street signs are few and far between here in Hanoi. And the ones that exist, you know who pays attention to them? Literally no one except for Jacqueline and I, so they didn't do us much good. Actually they do us no good. You know what else doesn't matter? What side of the road you drive on. Or actually whether you drive on the road or not. Sidewalks are cool to drive on, too. And if your moped fits between the street vendors at the night market, go for it. Also, you can fit four people on your moped. I kid you not.

We did do some things besides sweat and try to cross streets today, though. We visited the Temple of Literature and the first National University of Hanoi, which was pretty and extremely calm. There was a graduation happening while we were there and while I wanted to take pictures of the graduates, they wanted to take pictures of us. White people! Sweaty white people! People stared and waved and little kids were confused looking at us and when we responded to peoples "hellos" they fell over in a fit of laughter as if they couldn't believe we actually spoke. 

We continued wandering around the city, trying to unsuccessfully find a pagoda. The streets have absolutely no order and we got stuck at more than one 5 way intersection. There weren't usually sidewalks and when there were, they were filled with mopeds and people eating lunch at plastic kiddie tables.

We found a memorial to president Ho Chi Minh, got iced coffee and sat around a lake while people said hello to us. A group of students came up to us and asked if we had some time to practice English with them, which we did. They were extremely nice and recommended we go to the night market, where I didn't fit into any of the (elastic) pants I liked. 

We sat down to have dinner at the only place where the plastic chairs were not toddler sized (These stools that look like they belong in preschools). Communication was rough but we finally ordered beef pho and veggies with fried noodles. As we continued along, we saw the washing of the dishes was done in kiddie pools and trash was thrown on the street. At the end of the day, we were dirty, not tan.

Not every city you visit is going to be amazing, not every experience is going to be perfect or out of a travel magazine and that's the beauty of traveling. It takes you out of your comfort zone and into something you don't experience every day. And at the end of the day, I'm thankful for that. I'm also thankful our hotel room has air conditioning and a shower.